28 Elul 5770
September 7 2010
     

 

  
On Table Manners
 
Although it may not be readily apparent, table manners are an essential component of Torah-true Judaism. Indeed, the Talmud is replete with references and instructions on how, when, where, and of course what we are supposed to eat. The Persians are known to have exemplary table manners worth imitating.[1] So essential are proper table manners to being a good Jew that the Yom Kippur confessional includes a beat-on-the-chest for misbehavior in this area. Let’s take a closer look.
 
Dining times are delineated by the Talmud[2] according to class and personality. Each class is advised as to when they should first sit down to eat every day. Look out for your category.
 
If you happen to be a cannibal then it is recommended that you partake of your meal within the first hour of every morning. If you’re a thief, better you should eat during the second hour. If you’re rich, it is recommended that you dine in the third hour of the day. If you’re just a simple ordinary Jew, you should be eating during the fourth hour. If your occupation is one that requires you to work with your hands then you should try eating in the fifth hour. Finally, if you are an aspiring Torah scholar, you should eat your meal in the sixth hour of the day. Regardless of when you do decide to eat, it should be at a set time every day.[3] Women should allow their husbands to partake of the bread first at a meal - it’ll ensure that ladies won’t overeat![4]
 
Meals are intended to be held with family and other loved ones rather than alone, as King Solomon says: “Better is a meager meal of vegetables with love than a rich luxurious meal without love.”[5] Eating in public, however, is considered to be in poor taste.[6] Furthermore, we mustn’t eat until the point we are stuffed, but rather just enough so that we are no longer hungry.[7] Indeed, overeating is a grave sin.[8] One is also obligated to say “divrei Torah” (Torah thoughts) at least once during the course of a meal.[9] Be advised that drinking hot liquids and eating warm bread Saturday nights has secret healing powers.[10] One should only eat when hungry and only drink when thirsty.[11]
 
An early breakfast is strongly recommended every day[12] and eating well protects one from the weather.[13] We should wait some time after eating before beginning any exercise.[14] Our eating should exceed the amount we drink,[15] and never drink out of the same cup as someone else - it could kill you.[16] We should also not drastically change our diet as it can lead to severe intestinal disorders.[17] It goes without saying that wasting food is a serious sin.[18]
 
Other items of interest include that eating should never be a rushed event - take your sweet time.[19] The Talmud recommends that we not slice bagels or meat upon our hands, as the blood that gushes from such a wound may spoil or otherwise ruin the taste of our food.[20] Additionally, a guest should never serve food to the children of the host, lest there be a lack of food for other guests.[21] Never stare at someone when they’re eating.[22] Be advised that it is prohibited to invite someone for a meal if it is known in advance they will not be able to attend.[23]
 
It is a well known teaching that our tables are compared to the altar of the Temple, so the next time you sit down to a meal, just think of all the mitzvot that you’re able to do!
[1] Berachot 8b
[2] Pesachim 12b
[3] Yoma 75b
[4] Shabbat 140b
[5] Mishlei 15:17
[6] Kiddushin 40b, some authorities even discourage restaurants based on this!
[7] Pesachim 114a
[8] Eruvin 83b
[9] Avot 3
[10] Shabbat 119b
[11] Sefer Chassidim 127
[12] Pesachim 112a
[13] Ibid.
[14] Shabbat 129b
[15] Megilla 12a
[16] O.C. 170:16;Mishna Berura 37, Sefer Chassidim 111
[17] Nedarim 37b
[18] Devarim 20:19
[19] Berachot 54b
[20] Ibid. 8b
[21] Chullin 94a
[22] Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 42:13
[23] Ibid. 63:5
  
 

 

 

  
           
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